it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
