i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
