I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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