you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
