i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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