a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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