I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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