Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
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