One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
