Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
