ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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