just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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