i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
