not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
