Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
