don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize