life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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