Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Fuck appropriateness.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
