Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
birth control should be required to get into college
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
