haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
