he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
