So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
