Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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