I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
