yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
