Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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