There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
