Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize