It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
