are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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