My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize