Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she smelled like a LAN party
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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