Do you still have your period?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
