I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
