I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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