Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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