sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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