She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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