How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
