found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
