the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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