Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
