I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
