I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
