There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
