So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize