I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
