I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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