i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
