I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize