When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
