...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
