I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize