So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
