so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We left the knife in your bed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How does one acquire holy water?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
