Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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